Regarding Toilets

A basic guide to some of the more unusual conveniences that we have happened upon in our travels. As we´re only halfway through so far this could be part one. Later on there may be a number two (snigger, snigger)

1, The self-flushing or auto-flush.
Not such a stand-out convenience you might think, but it can be an eyebrow raising experience when you start to turn around and find all evidence of your visit whisked away before you can even search for the (non-existent) flush button. The auto-flush is popular in Singapore (land of efficiency and hygiene) and doesn`t always wait for you to turn around, so those of you who haven`t perfected the art of the hover pee may be in for a rude shock.

This model could be absolutely terrifying if combined with the second model on our list...

2, The squat toilet, also known as the Turkish or Asian toilet.
Without meaning to insult the people and places that prefer this model, the easiest way to describe the squat toilet is as a basic hole in the ground, with porcelain. There are two spots for your feet on either side of the hole, and well, a hole in the middle. The whole apparatus is a dazzling white if you`re lucky and if you`re not, then it`s best to move on from the whole experience as quickly as possible. The floor of the entire cubicle is invariably very wet and I`m sure I`m not alone in wandering how the devout Muslim woman in the full burkas manage to keep all of their clothing dry.
A danger with the squat toilet can be the turbo flush, where once the chain is pulled (and yes it it usually a chain not a button), an over-enthusiastic deluge of water splurts forth and you begin to understand why the floors are always wet. It`s advisable to wear sensible footwear and stand well back when pulling the chain.

Model number three is an easier environment to keeps one`s shoes dry in...

3, The German backwards toilet.
In essence this is just a loo as most of us know them: a comfy sit down job with a cistern at the back and every thing where you would expect it to be- with one exception. The toilet bowl appears to have been put on back to front.
Not to go into too much gory detail, the u-bend (the hole through which everything is flushed away- u-bend?) is at the front of the bowl, not the back. The only difference this causes is that anything you have deposited in the bowl ends up sitting high and dry on display until you hit the flush. Handy for those who like to rate their poo.

The final model for this chapter is one that we`re getting to know more as we traverse the continent...

4, The train toilet.
Generally this is the same as any loo on a plane: small, poky, hard to balance in and good for banging your elbows on the door so that people queuing outside give you odd looks as you exit. There are two noteworthy models I have come across so far. One was in Germany and stood out only because I worked out the sign telling me to close the lid before flushing AFTER I pressed the foot pedal. Luckily the resulting jet of water went straight up and down as the train wasn`t rocking around too much. It did fountain up a good foot above the seat though.
The second rail lavatory that rates a mention was one that I experienced yesterday as we were on our way out of the Czech Republic. Generally I`m happy not to look at the toilet`s contents before I flush, but this one was worth a peek as you could see the train tracks whizzing by through the bottom of the loo. As Bill commented, it explains why the grass is so green around the train lines.

The other main difference with the Euro loo is that it`s not unusual to have to pay to use them.The price varies and there may be different tariffs for urinals and cubicles. So far I haven`t come across any where you had to specify numbers 1 or 2* but I have had to collect my loo paper from the front counter before heading in.

Feel free to write in with your own unusual potty experiences and stories. I`ve finally worked out how to set the comments page so any one can leave a note- you don`t have to have a gmail address any more.

*I did meet a guy this morning who was asked on entering a loo what he needed to do