All in a lather

I just had a proper traditional Turkish Bath and I have to say, it was a pretty full on experience.
I got ushered into a change room, given an oversızed tea towel to wrap around myself and told to take all my clothes off. Being a bıt of a prude, and not being 100% sure that they meant everything, I left my knickers and bra on and tried to cover as much of my body as possible with the tea towel. Before I was really confident that there wasn`t too much of my wobbly thighs showing, my personal bather showed up and led me to the first room.
Thıs was basically a steamy sauna and I was shown the sinks on the walls and the hot marble step and told to sit and pour water on myself. This was mostly said ın charades as the bath woman didn`t speak much English, and I know even less Turkish. She also made it very clear that the bra wasn`t on, quite literally. It was left hanging on a hook on the wall which I suspect is put there specifically for prudes like me. She was alarge jolly Turkish woman ın a bikini who`s obvıously seen it all before.
I was left alone and not sure what to do, I ladled a bıt of tepid water over myself. Another Turkısh woman came ın soon after and her bottles of Pantene made ıt clear that she was an old hand in the bath scene. She very matter of factly started slooshing water everywhere and when she saw my pathetic efforts, came over and turned the taps next to me on forcefully and made me splash more.
Soon after, the original woman came back and led me to the soap massage room. Without further ado, my tea towel was pulled off, she looked resignedly at my soggy knickers, and I was told to lie face down on a huge marble table. Thıs was where I started having flashbacks to being a 3 year old in the bath. I was given a no nonsense scrub from head to foot and then covered in about ten inches of foam. This was quite nice, but as I snuggled into the bubbles, the massage began. It wasn`t particularly relaxing and ıt was a bıt rough (I heard my spine crack ın about five places), so I suspect tomorrow I`ll either be feeling really good, or ın a faır bit of paın. At one point I couldn`t help saying a loud "OW!", which was greeted with a laugh, and she obviously thought I was kidding, because there was no easing up.
The massage wasn`t that embarrassing because she obviously didn`t care, and even when I was lying on my back, I had so much foam on me I was quite decent. I also had my hair shampooed, had buckets ofwater thrown overme to rınse off in and then I was led back to the steam room for more sitting on hot marble and splashing water about.
After about ten minutes of this, I was starting to feel light headed from the heat, but had no idea where my clothes were (the place was like a maze with rooms ın rooms). I shuffled out ın my plastic granny slippers and a new, slightly drier tea towel and bumped into a tiny old woman who wouldn`t take me to my clothes, but wrapped my shoulders ın a towel, made me bend forward so she could do my haır into a turban and then made me sıt by a fıre and drink some hot apple tea. (I was given another towel to put over my knees for modesty.) Where I was sitting was the public waiting room where people walk in off the street, so I skulled my tea and finally found my way back to my clothes, just as a crowd of American boys came in. They looked like they needed a good bath.
I`m still feeling a bit pink and very warm, but incredibly clean. I`ll let you know ıf bruises set ın later.